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But should widowers and widows dating divorcees have to worry about their relationship? And if divorced, should they only date other divorcees?

What’s the combination that will give you the best chance for true companionship?

These brave souls seem to share one issue in common: struggling to overcome the “fits and starts” initiated by their previously widowed boyfriends who emotionally withdraw from the relationship when grief is triggered.

Insights From One Woman’s Journey As The Wife Of A Widower” primarily addresses women married to widowers, I do occasionally receive e-mails from women who are in serious committed premarital relationships with widowers as well.

As a recent divorcee, he had begun a new relationship with a widow and at the time they dated, thought that he had finally found “the one.” He felt like his ex-wife was never really his soul mate and that his soul mate was still out there, and it was Terry (also a fake name to protect identities).

Unfortunately, as the months passed, Howard realized that Terry didn’t consider him her soul mate. She even called out her late husband’s name during intimate moments with Howard. Howard knew he would never live up to the memory of Terry’s late husband and didn’t feel he could continue when they didn’t both think they had found their soul mate.

I’m nervous about getting involved with him too soon.

That leads you to question his “I love you” in word or deed? Step away from the high school cafeteria table where you once giggled and obsessed about boys. You were learning about the whole relationship boy/girl exchange, but as an adult woman, the only thing you are ever going to get from it is a big fat bruised ego. Insinuating himself into your life and your affections. Show me a “sex accident” and I will recant, but until I am offered proof, I will maintain my disbelief.

If it’s not too soon to have regular “sleep over” dates than it is not too soon to ask questions when you feel that love is in the air and he, for reasons unclear, doesn’t seem to be feeling it too. It’s no different from the divorced guy whose “wife screwed him over” or the never married guy who’s “afraid of commitment because of that girl who dumped him once … The stereotypical guy whose been too hurt to open his heart again routine has rewarded many a man with the cake sans having to bake it for himself. He will not retreat or play “now you see/hear from me and now you don’t” games.

~ Julie Donner Andersen I’m at the very beginning of a potential relationship with a guy who I’ve reconnected with after many years (we knew each other in high school).

His spouse of 27 years passed away four months ago, after a very long (21 years) battle with Multiple Sclerosis.

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